Can a tree help with big life decisions?

An explanation for my absence...

I found myself unable to write another piece on substack since my last one on 4th May which covered some tricky ground. It’s been heavy going…

I am therefore starting with some excerpts from a recent Instagram post, because, quite frankly if I don’t start with this I’m going to be staring at this fecking screen all afternoon. After a relatively rocky period of healing, grieving, reflecting, and accepting the transition to another season of my life, my yoga practice had somewhat lapsed.
I realised that it was essential for my mental health to get back on track, so I had started making my daily asana and meditation practices non-negotiable. (Notice the past tense there, I slipped again this week…)

I have many big decisions to consider, one of which I thought had already been made. We are selling our house in a beautiful village on the North Wales coast.
The house that sits in nature, surrounded by fields and trees.
The house with views of mountains and the sea.
The house I lived in when my best friend died in 2016.
The house I lived in when my brother died in 2017.
The house where we spent lockdown and my drinking escalated to dangerous levels.
The house I lived in when my mum passed away.

The house where, whilst grieving for my mum, I left my husband after 44 years together.

Also, the house where I got sober on 1st January 2021, and the house where I began the real deep work with my therapist.

My husband and I reconciled after 12 months apart, and we had decided that the sale of this house would fund our retirement. We are fortunate in that we still have the first house we bought in 1986, a little end of terrace, with a man cave attached.

But last week, in our house with the beautiful views, I sat underneath the apple tree planted in memory of my brother. I meditated, and then I spoke to the tree and listened for her answer. She seemed to whisper, "Keep the house. You belong here."

I contemplated how to handle this big decision, and went inside to talk to my husband.
His response had me howling, "Yes, we have choices, but I'm not taking financial advice from a bloody tree!" 😆 😅
He's such a pragmatist.

Navigating the passage from middle age to being a sexagenarian is one of the trickiest transitions I have ever experienced. So much is changing.

• My children of course, are now adults, and have children of their own.

• I am unlikely to ever return to the career to which I have dedicated over 30 years of my life (I am unable to discuss that openly yet).

• I have trained as a yoga teacher, and this year I will hopefully complete my further 300-hour training.

• I am trying to build a business around sober coaching and teaching yoga (not at the same time, there are absolutely no requirement for my clients to be in warrior 2 or downward dog during our sessions!)

• I am realising that my next ‘Big birthday’ digits will start with a 7. A flipping 7!!

• I feel the very real urge to travel the whole world before that number hits in 7.5 years, but I have 2 dogs whom I adore (in addition to my husband and 6 grandchildren!)

• I am healing from 50 year old wounds, and the freedom from alcohol addiction, the ability to meet my therapist at any point, along with my yoga practices, are all helping this to happen.

• I am about to embark upon a Mindfulness Teacher Training course, and contemplating how to incorporate that into my business plan.

• I am learning wtf a business plan looks like and how tf to write one!

In summary, there’s a lot going on, and I am trying to navigate it all with compassion, self-care, and a dollop of self-deprecating humour. Thanks for reading, I really appreciate it if you’ve got this far. Sometimes I wonder if my writing on here is like throwing spagetti on walls, but nevertheless I will continue, and I truly appreciate those of you who have subscribed to the inane ramblings of a post menopausal sexagenarian with a penchant for conversations with trees.

Other ways to link up with me:

• If you are sober curious, or in recovery but looking for additional support, I work with 1-1 clients as a sober coach. A free discovery call can be booked on my website here Carolyn Clark Coaching

• Also, if you are considering going on a fabulous sober retreat in Bali, there is one space left on the retreat in which I am collaborating with the amazing Lisa-Jo Elsworth, reiki practitioner, sound therapist, founder of Bee Sober CIC, and director of the International Practitioners of Holistic Medicine IPHM.

• The details of the Bali retreat on 21-28 September 2025 can be found here.

• I teach yoga in person at The Ucheldre Centre, Holyhead, each Monday at 6pm. This is an amazing venue, and our hall is an old church with it’s stained glass windows, which feels like a wonderful place for our spiritual practice.

• I can also be found at Sober Happy Sixties